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It was approaching 5:00 in Ergthor's office, the weekend was upon him and the recently re-elected Emperor of the universe had realized that his chronic boredom had reached the point where he had to do something about it. He grabbed his phone to call in his Lieutenant Governor for urgent business.

Lieutenant Governor Garth Wormtoss entered the room still in his imperial uniform from the Lunar New Year ceremony on Jantu earlier that day. He found the Emperor leaning back in his chair reaching into his whiskey cabinet "You summoned me my lord."

"There is no need for formalities Garth there is no official business to deal with," Ergthor replied while pouring shots for the two of them. "We've just won our fifth consecutive unopposed election for ultimate power in the universe and after all this time I've come to realize how boring this job really is after succeeding in inserting our men in the governments of all the central systems. All we ever do these days is warp across the galaxy to recognize holidays that nobody cares about outside the flyover planets our secretaries force us to land on, and that is when we aren't forced into presiding over the galactic senate as they squabble over warp drives damaging the fabric of our dimension apart or some other ridiculous idea they want me to care about."

"Sir. . ." the Lieutenant Governor started before realising he had noting to say.

"I said cut the formalities Garth. We've been best friends since the Academy, we used to go on crazy adventures together. When was the last thing we did anything fun?"

Garth took a sip of whiskey and answered, "Well watching the final arena battles on Tonrock last month was quite fun, but we have to wait a few more years for a new set of warriors to prepare to fight each other to the death like that again."

The Emperor placed his glass down and exclaimed, "Ahhh we were only spectators then Garth, back in the good old days we used to run off and do whatever we felt like, remember that time we took a whole week off of school to bury the bones of giant Saurian beasts all over that one planet of primitives and were never noticed?"

"I'm not sure I would classify hiding from the authorities by recklessly flying a stolen mining vessel through an asteroid belt through an asteroid field as 'never noticed' but I see what you are thinking of now. I wonder if they ever found that stuff, or what is going on on that planet."

"That's what we need to do, we always had fun messing with those planets, meet me in the royal hangar in three hours and we'll go there to get some excitement back."

"What will we do when we get there?"

"I don't know Garth we can figure it out when we get there."


Ergthor and Garth didn't manage to think of anything to do on their trip over so they decided to ask the locals what they did for fun. They figured that the power they had held for so long had desensitized themselves from the joys that life had to offer and they needed to be educated by someone whose life had never been tarnished by intergalactic politics.

Jeremy woke in the middle of the night to the blurry image of two giant green men standing at the edge of his bed. "If you are going to stick your cameras up there you'd probably prefer that I use the restroom first," he groaned.

"Sir it appears that this man thinks we are here to preform research of the digestive system of his species. Of all the things we thought of doing that is by far more boring than all of them," Garth said.

"Wait you speak English?" Jeremy asked.

"Of course we speak English Earth-man, what else are we supposed to speak?" Ergthor replied. "We have no scholarly pursuits on this planet, we are here seeking inspiration from your planet on how we can put excitement back into our lives."

The Earth-man sat confused in his bed for a moment.

"What do you like to do for fun Earth-man?" Garth asked.

"Ahh, why didn't you just start with that?" Jeremy replied, "Come to my garage."

The Earth-man began babbling about the rush of happiness he feels when driving around at high speeds as the three walked down to his garage. Ergthor and Garth were visibly confused as they were under the impression that this planet had yet to develop warp drives and could therefore not travel anywhere near what they considered high speeds. They became even more visibly puzzled as they entered a garage full of land vehicles. Jeremy of course did not pick up on any of the alien social ques and continued explaining the benefits of different engines and why V8s are so much better than the powerless machines companies were making these days even if their tiny engines were fitted with turbos.

The Earth-man was in the middle of explaining something about manual transmissions when Ergthor interrupted him deciding that he needed first hand experience with this sort of thing if this man could be so enthusiastic about this primitive technology. "Take me on a ride Earth-man."

It took quite some time for Ergthor to fit in Jeremy's favorite car but once he was in and the Earth-man had started the vehicle the Emperor of the galaxy could sense that he was in for a treat. He could feel the rumble of the engine and hear the oddly satisfying sound of the exhaust being expelled out the back. The acceleration of the car entering what the Earth-man called high speeds was a provided a feeling that was rarely present on modern spacecraft then the feeling of flagrantly drifting around corners was something that Ergthor had nothing to compare to. Upon leaving the planet to return to his dull life as Emperor of the galaxy, Ergthor knew how to fill the missing piece of his life.